• Written by Jayne Luy

I Tripped Out on Coffee

I Tripped Out on Coffee. Now I cannot sleep.

I tried counting toothbrushes, Barbies, and sheep.

But I’ve got that black venom sloshing around;

It’s sped up my heart like a merry-go-round!

My heart wants to tango, or go ‘take a leap’;

Attempting to long-jump right over my sheet!

My mattress is hard! I’m not comfy at all!

My blanket’s too warm, and my pillow’s too small!

Alas! How this poisonous coffee’s a pain;

I should have just poured the stuff right down the drain!

You smell it. It GETS you! You cherish each drop…

Then your heartbeat goes WHAM with a huge belly-flop;

You break a great sweat, draw your knees to your chin...

You point your foot west, and you curl your toes in…

You lie to the East, with your nose to the South…

There are nervous explosions in nerves by your mouth.

You take your right leg, bend it under your hips,

Press your cheek to the pillow, which smushes your lips

Your shin dangles over the edge of your bed,

Your shoulder is scrunched up like old Uncle Fred...

You look like a pretzel. You buzz like a bee.

You're itching to get up and bounce like a flea!

You think how you used to tie spiders in knots…

You confess all your sins… Count daisies and dots…

But nothing will lead to that far, foggy ‘zone';

There's no hope to lie there as heavy as stone.

You're joggling in bed with your knee to the wall!


Maybe you’ll learn now, that caffeine’s a foe.

It tangles your ear to your north-pointing toe.

Maybe for next time, you’ll try to be smart…

Consider your eye-twitch and high-jumping heart!

When smelling coffee, don’t bring on this strife.

Turn around slowly, then RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

If you’re craving coffee, make peppermint tea!

Your limbs will all thank you! Use logic. You’ll see.

Oh, wow… what’s that smell… that aroma, so dark?

It’s bold but it's subtle… it’s mellow, yet stark…

It could be from India, or maybe, Peru…

I really don't care; does it matter to you?

I'll get there first! On your mark, get set, go!